You know my method. It is founded upon the observation of trifles. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know. I must apologize for calling so late, and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall. Show Holmes a drop of water and he would deduce the existence of the Atlantic. Show it to me and I would look for a tap. That was the difference between us. I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention? To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. The dog did nothing in the night-time. That was the curious incident Elementary, my dear Watson.
If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ‘em. Shoot ‘em? Politely, of course. Let’s go be bad guys! Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross. Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.

Man, or at least criminal man, has lost all enterprise and originality. As to my own little practice, it seems to be degenerating into an agency for recovering lost lead pencils and giving advice to young ladies from boarding-schools. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.

You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ‘em right back! Also? I can kill you with my brain. Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross. Yes sir, Captain Tightpants! Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything. Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.